Bad things faster go away from me now...

Today, My brother admited to the hospital to do the small operation.. I really very worry for him.. but I can't do anything for him.. Only can call him.. and at here waiting for his call.. I feel so sad and sorry to him.. I'm his sister's can't take care of him.. and even can't share his sadness and his burden..

Wish that he faster recover..

My Mum always is the best....

If my mum still here.. I think my life will feel better.. because at least got someone listen to me and support me now...

mummy....

Now, I'm in 7mths plus pregnancy... still have 2mths plus I will be going for delivery.. I really wish that my mum can see my baby born and she can also share my joy...

My lovely mum photo album

Missed my lovely mum...

I really missed my lovely mum... but i know i can't see her anymore, I can't hear her voice anymore, I can't touch her anymore, I can't talk to her anymore... Why all the things happend so sudden... I know I have to accept the facts the truth.. but I really wish that I'm in the dreaming now.. so, once i wake up my mum is still alive.

Past few weeks I really don't wish to talk to anyone and also don't want go to work.. because I really no mood and the heart to bother the everything.. I really wish that I can dream of my mum.. so I can talk to her..

Missed her everyday...

I really missed my mum... I still remember last time everymorning I will give her a call... I always call her when I on my way go to work... Talk to her whatever unhappy things.. and share with her my joys also.. I like talk to her.. because she always is a good listener.. always is my good supporter.. But, now no more.. I can't enjoy talk to her and chit chat with her..

My Lovely Mum has left us forever....

Friday 3rd Aug 07, Morning as usual I called her and talk to her.. and chit chat with her.. She told me that she's at her sister house.. Tonite she would go out with her sister.. Then I told her when you reach home give me a call.. She really very good girl.. once she reach home she called me but It was very late.. 12:30am can be consider saturda already.. so we didn't talk much on the phone.. so I told her that I would called her the next day.. She say okey.. Tomorrow then talk to me again..

Saturday 4th Aug 07, 12:00pm received my brother's call.. telling me that my mum admited to the hospital.. Told me that she suddenly fainted... Now inside the Emergency wards.. I was panic and scared.. because my brother keep on crying during the converstation... and doctor asked me come back to see her now.. On my way going back to KL.. Before depature I asked my husband pray together with me about my mum healing.. At 4:00pm my mum finally transfer to the ICU.. but I on my way going back to malaysia.. Finally 9:00pm we reach at hopsital Ampang ICU saw my mum lying on the bed.. My heart hurts.. and scared that she will leave us.. My tears fallwithout control.. I am scared and worried.. worried that she will leave us.. So I telling her.. Mum, I'm your daughter Ah Teng come back to see you.. Faster wake up now.. but she didn't respond me.. I feel so sad and my heart feels the pain.. see her suffer... The doctor telling us that when she reach hospital that time.. her heart beat has stop.. because of her heart has stopped which affected her blood and oxygen flow to her brain.. Now her brain is affected and swollen.. She might be in coma state.. I'm keep on telling myself that.. It's wouldn't.. She sure recover and wake up tomorrow Morning..

Sunday, 5th Aug 07, Early morning we go to hospital visit her.. but this time her face is look better.. Seem like have hope.. and she will wake up.. I'm so happy.. because her face not so pale like first day I see her.. We all beside or around her and keep on asking her don't be sleep.. wake up.. ok!!! You must wake up.. You have been promised me you will take care of me.. when i doing my confinement that time.. You must wake up.. too see your grandson born.. You always asked me to birth soon.. to give u a grandson.. so now i'm expecting.. why you sleep.. so you must wake up.. then the doctor told us that my mum is resting because they had infuse her with sleeping medicine .. let her brain rest... I'm feel so happy to hear that she is resting now.. so it's mean that she will wake up tomolo..

Monday, 6th Aug 07, the Doctor Datin Lelah told us that, my mum got respond so her brain is not dead.. She might be will wake up.. told us.. Keep encourage her and talk to her.. she can hear us.. I'm so happy.. that we got hope and my mum wouldn't leave us.. My brother, my husband and me keep on stay beside her and talk her.. In the afternoon their bring my mum go for the 2nd CT scan see how is her brain status.. Bad news came to us .. in the afternoon telling us that my mum brain's CT scan is negative.. It's show that her brain has been damage.. I keep rejecting that report.. and told myself it's not correct.. I'm feel like seating in the roller coaster... At 9:00pm, we still in ICU to accompany my mum.. I held her and talk to her.. encourage her to wake up.. suddenly her hand moved and hold my hand.. I'm very happy.. because I know my mum is trying to wake up.. and she don't want to leave us.. when we talk to her that time.. her tears rolled down.. My brother and me also feel very happy.. because we saw the hope for my mum to recover...

Tuesday, 7th Aug 07... the Doctor Datin Lelah.. told us that my mum didn't have any respond.. and we very worry.. she annouced that they will conduct a brain dead scan for my mum.. I was afraid.. I'm told them it's not true.. she still alive.. her brain is not dead.. then she saying that they have to do it.. because based on their 2nd CT scan.. my mum's brain swelled.. and now she totallyhas no respond... I was afraid.. and keep on telling myself is not true.. I believe that Jesus will heal her.. so I didn't give up to pray for her.. everyday i also pray for her healing and miracle will be happend to my mum... Even the last mins or last second I also wouldn't give up to pray for her.. I know I am sure she will see the miracle happened to my mum... 12:30pm they conduct the brain dead scan.. I keep on praying that she will passed the test.. after the brain dead scan.. they reported that my mum brain is dead.. I felt lost.. and don't know what to do.. Why so sudden.. why my mum leave us.. Why it happend? why so sudden.. I know that my mum don't want to left us.. She still have a lot of things haven't do.. She still haven't see my baby born.. She still haven't see my brother gradurate.. She still haven't see my brother get married and his grandson.. Why?????

I really missed my mum... I really cannot accept that she has left us... Why these things came so sudden... I really cannot believe that my mum has left me... I really cannot accept this truth... Why? God have to do that? Why he didn't saved her? Why he didn't heal her? Why not let her wake up from unconciousness .. Why??? I really don't understand... We always say that nothing impossible for GOD!!!! But why??? I pray to him everyday... inside the bible say when you have faith nothing is impossible.. the mountain you also can move.... but why now i only need my mum wake up and alive.. why also cannot make it?????? he didn't keep his promise ?....

My Lovely Wesley.. I love so much!!!!

17th January 2007

HI! Guys, Do you know where am I? I'm at the airport now... It's super boh liao now.. because my air flight is delay... Do you know what is the time now? It's 11:30pm then my air flight only fly at 3:10am.. Oh... No.. 3hours inside the airport what can i do????? so got free internet.. go to blogging lah.. hahahaha.. bye..my dear friend.. I think i have go to window shopping until 3:10am.. hahaha.. wahkakakaka..

My Best Friend Wedding on 09/12/06